She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
