whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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