shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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