were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize