he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
