She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
