Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
