Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize