We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
