My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
