dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
