I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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