sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So vagazzling was a success
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
