May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
