God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
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He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize