Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
