I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
