She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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