yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
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Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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