You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
