Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
