I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Randomize