Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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