...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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