Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
