He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
