did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
