Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
