bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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