Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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