What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
