Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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(706): View more from Georgia

Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(224): View more from Illinois

You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.

(630): View more from Illinois

Thats like the definition of a good friend

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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask

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(519): View more from Ontario

Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm not well. Although it could be worse.

(248): View more from Michigan

My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.

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