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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wrong asian. never thought that would happen.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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• (845): View more from New York

  They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax

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• (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'

  (614): View more from Ohio

  omg so drunk

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.

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