i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.