Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
True strength comes from lack of pants
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday