It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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