Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think my vagina is haunted

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  (608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0
  Replies (26) Good night (891) Bad night (3254)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?

  (513): View more from Ohio

  um, yeah. i think it is.

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  (252): is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"? (513): um, yeah. i think it is. http://tfl.nu/omaw
  Replies (12) Good night (2504) Bad night (813)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.

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  (717): everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve. http://tfl.nu/thtu
  Replies (9) Good night (804) Bad night (3135)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.

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  (402): I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/x618
  Replies (49) Good night (5588) Bad night (839)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.

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  (301): My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake. http://tfl.nu/il6h
  Replies (12) Good night (1243) Bad night (3539)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada

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  (616): Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada http://tfl.nu/8u25
  Replies (29) Good night (1538) Bad night (4462)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  where's my purse there's an important taco in it

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  (908): where's my purse there's an important taco in it http://tfl.nu/d9zq
  Replies (19) Good night (7470) Bad night (1030)
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  (530): View more from California

  She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.

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  (530): She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth. http://tfl.nu/q63e
  Replies (10) Good night (925) Bad night (3585)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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  (604): Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends. http://tfl.nu/9u2p
  Replies (9) Good night (2609) Bad night (912)
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  (88): View more from

  As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.

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  (88): As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice. http://tfl.nu/ji6g
  Replies (10) Good night (1951) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

  (1+44): View more from

  It's a podium place so yeah...

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  (+44): Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right? (1+44): It's a podium place so yeah... http://tfl.nu/cezg
  Replies (7) Good night (1314) Bad night (391)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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  (321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc
  Replies (3) Good night (502) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?

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  (678): Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella? http://tfl.nu/jjvm
  Replies (7) Good night (1391) Bad night (309)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die

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  (775): Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die http://tfl.nu/wat0
  Replies (2) Good night (545) Bad night (254)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.

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  (505): Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water. http://tfl.nu/zjrt
  Replies (1) Good night (192) Bad night (635)

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