batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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