That's when you crack a 10am beer
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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