And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
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You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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