so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
