Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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