omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
