I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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