omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
