You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
