I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
