Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
