there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
