I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
