the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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