This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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