Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
