Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just want nice things and good sex
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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