ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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