I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
