I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
