All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
