Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
