im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
