To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
