You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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