did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This toilet bowl is my home.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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